Its been years since I posted something here in LJ. Maybe because a lot of my friends who does LJ  are no longer active. However one thing is for sure a lot changed since my last post. Believe it or not after not getting that spot from my last application 3 years ago i got promoted as a Team Leader for a different account. It was me growing up I guess. Now after 3 years and 3 acounts had passed I am still a Team Leader.

Recently an internal job posting was oppened and i did apply for it. I was excited because after 3 years thhis is the first time I am going to apply for this post... I was a bit disapointed though because i was not able to get the job...but i can say I am not sulking on what i dont have as of the moment, but it seems that something is missing a big part of my life after that application. I keep on asking myself these days if i really wanted to move up the corporate ladder... or maybe I am just moved by other people's encouragement to apply... well partly yes... I am moved by them...but I still dont feel the drive to move up. I also felt unfair when the results came out... maybe because i was expecting someone iside our account to get the post...but i also see the point where in they had to hire the new guy because we need a manager who can guide us, but at the back of my mind... I still dont get it!!!!

Now I am thinking of shifting careers... I dont know where to start or how am i going to do this....I want to go on opening up a business for events but ..where to start... i also want to go on Buy and Sell... travel... man I have so much in mind...Sometimes i just wat out of this biz and move on to the next path<input ... ><input ... ><input ... ></input><input ... >

It was almost two weeks from this date when I applied for a team lead position at work. I was nervous but none the less comfort was somewhere around the corner. Out of 36 aspiring applicants 16 got drafted for the final interview, and I was one of them.  3 slots needs to be filled in and out of that 16 finalist, 5 people made the cut for the short list. Out of that 5 people who made the short list 4 of them are from my account, 2 of them are my friends. I did not get the position, sad i know but one thing I’ve realized is that I never felt any pity or guilt that I did not get the job, maybe its not yet my time to be promoted, but one thing is for sure, I am damn happy for my friends. I also found out something that I never felt when I applied for the trainer position, as I said earlier comfort is around the corner and I tell you this, my comfort is here. I know that I can make it here and this is really what I wanted!  Aside from that I know that next time I apply I might have this edge since I made that final cut. Anyway another position is going to be open this week this time is for Assistant Team Lead, I would still apply for this position since this will be my step to what I really wanted. ^_^

 

: im really sorry

: please dont be its my fault. honestly its mine not yours. i thought about  it, are there really no more topics for us to talk about?? or is it simply we are both busy? are we too occupied that we dont see this small fact? 
: sometimes ,it feels like there is nothing else to talk about. it seems like eventhough we're not talking as long as we knew that we have each other... its enough... its not that i'm saying that were not going to talk forever. its just that sometimes its how i feel

: me too, its just that its too weird that this happen a lot these days

:I LOVE YOU..

: i love you too.. *tears*

Thinking of things to say but my muse have not visited me in awhil to inspire good words to say. hopefully, this week end i get some of those musings so at least my pithy babbling will end... hehehe

It has been awhile since i wrote something inspirational here in my LJ, maybe its because i haven't had time to think of inspirational words to say. i've been reading my previous post and how i see life back then. nothing much change on how i see life. there is still the thought that i still have hope for myself, for the people around me and my surroundings. those thoughts nurtured me in some ways that i myself never thought of changing myself. well hopefully in the future post i can write something like that again, not just my angst and love life hehehe

It was un expected!!!! I was in the mall yesterday and was having lunch with raffy and all of a sudden i saw Jonathan(also known as francis) at tokyo tokyo in festival mall. He was my long time crush and it was so unexpected i didnt notice i blushed in front of raffy. I was so embarassed because u blushed infornt of my guy and its not because of him , it was because i saw my long time crush. I know its just a crush, but it means a lot to him because as raffy said, i never made my self blush infron of him, i know its shallow but it means a lot. well i know you are reading my journals every now and then ( well for ammusement of course becuase of my wrong spellings) and i want you to know mush that i would never ever exchange you for that guy... he is not worth my attention or even my heart.

I applied for the training position at work last week and i was short listed yesterday. I was glad i got short listed but panick stricked since i had to do a teaching demo. I was prepared for a topic but i think it was never appealing so i looked for a topic and chose The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Coley. I did good in my demo but i had a nervous attact after doing it because they interviewer asked a question that is not related to the demo. I was prepared for those questions though but since my last meal was the breakfast i had the other day it weakened me and my capability to think was at its bottom.*SIGH* oh well , i did not get the job, but will try again next time because i already know my weakness. Well good luck for me next time i guess. ^_^

It freaking irritating and its pissing me off!! these people here at work don't know who their messing up with. I've done it before and i can do it again with no guilty feeling. Lynzie, a "friend" at work is starting to be such a bitch then again. It all started during her birthday when her sister-in-law- texted me without even informing me who she is. I was paranoid because back then a lot of people are doing prank calls or prank messages on my phone. I was pissed off and when her sister-in-law told her that she was pissed at me.. not to mention that we left her there at a a friend's house because Raffy and i had to go somewhere. Then she was picking on me come next workday because we left her!! Duh!! cant we just have time alone?? all the while i thought it was over but then came last week when Raffy and I went on VTO, we were excited because all of our friends are on VTO but i was not feeling well and had to go home early. I was trying hard to make my self feel better but my feelings kept on getting worst.. I was sick and when we left early we told our friends that we need to go because i was not feeling well and Raffy had to bring me home...her reaction was she was mad!! raging mad. She even texted us that if we have plan that they we should have told her!!! My god!!! I already told her i was not feeling well, i dont want to assume on anything because what i think is that she was mad becasue raffy left her because she does not have a ride home!!! Freaking user!! what a fake.. saying that she'll understand if we told her we had plans and leaving her there!! You freaking tupperware!! How could she say something like that if she would not accept the simple truth!!!! Its is pissing me off to the limit and i dont even want to bother thinking about it, beacuse its a waste of time but it really pissed me off when i found out that my friends or let me say our "friends" are sort off ganging on me because of that. Now i cant help but think that she is just looking for people to go to her side!!! What hurts even more is that those people dont even know what really happened!!! To make it worst they even told us yesterday that they will go home straight only to find out that hey had breakfast at Shell Station at south super highway just to avoid us!!! Tang ina mo!!! ang plastic mo sobra!!! i just want to shove that idea off but you are showing me that!!! How dare you Lynzie to compare me to Gen Mariano when you know better that i am better than her!!! You even told our friends that i am no better than her!! Fuck you!!! sorry mush i know you'll be reading this but this is how i feel, i know it sucks but this how i get mad and this is not even at the level yet!!! How dare you lynzie to use the tactics we used on Gen. hey girl!!! I may be stupid but i am so not dense!!! you want it this way come on BRING IT ON!!! you want to mess up with me!!! BRING IT ON. you think i dont know you... Dont even dare me because i know how low you could get!!! Siraan ba ang gusto mo!! sige marami akong ilalabas sayo!!! wag lang talagang may pumigil sakin kase kaya kitang patumbahin.. You think you're smart.. Think again because you are messing me and no one won against me yet!!! and if you think i'll stop because you said sorry... thnik again... i can be a good friend ... but i am the worst enemy you can get. Ayaw mong pag usapan.... bakit are you scared?? Ayaw mong magsalita because you dont want to hear your bad side you bitch!!! yes you are a bitch and i mean that... you can even sell your self to one guy just to like you and you are saying that you cant do it!! damn i know you can... you can even buy anything they like jsut to get their attention.. but then again they will not like you becasue that guy will surely like your friend and not you. you think this is so high school stuff!!! yest it is so high scholl and you are so not out growing it. damn you dont call me your friend!!!! dont even tell me you miss me already IF YOU DONT MEAN IT!!!

NAHANAP MO NA BA TO?? HEHEHEHE LUV YOU!

Its my 3rd monthsary today and life with him seems like forever.. hahaha mushy isnt it? but its true its like we've been together for 3 years and everyday is still like a new day to us, new challenges, new moments to share and we still cant get enough of what we have on each day and know that the nest day would be turn out to be a wonderful day. Yeah i know you would probably say that we are still on that stage where we are so sweet and its like a "honeymoon stage" i would say i would agree to that, but let me tell you this, i know that this would last... if not i'll make it last... and i know he would do the same thing. I know that 3 months is too soon.. and 3 months is just a short time... but i know that 3 months already seems a lifetime and i am happy to say that i am and i am in love..

This week was hell tiring.. been helping with the office party and arranging stuff for them. tried booking at least 2 events coordinator with the mobile and good thing that one of them is really professional with the work.. talk about harassed!!! haven't had much time with myself and the guy... but once this party is done...i'll make up for lost times

I have never felt this frustrated my whole life... i am earning enough money for myself yet it seems that its not enough. not to mention my mom bugging me to pay our credit card. damn!!! its just so frustrating. i almost cried yesterday before i left my bf's car because i still dont want to go home and see my mom... or even hear her do all those long sermons about my money matters... gaaaaahhhhh!!! when will this end!!! i cant think straight!!! help!!!

It was our 2nd month yesterday and i wanted to give him a tulip but instead i bought a rose which is cliche but i ended buying him a rose instead. my plan went well... he lost the bet the i know the combination to his locker and hehehe he got paranoid and gave me a new chalenge since he changed the combination to his lock... hehehe!!! extra challenge for me then.

hehehe i am the last minuit girl!!! thats what i can say about myself... its been a long week thinking of a way how to surprise him on our monthsery... hehehe we had an argument this week about his locker pad lock... hehehe petty i know!!!! but he is insisting that i dont know the combination to his lock... little did he know that when he opened his locker once i was trying to check what his combination through his lock... hehehe it is but fair!!! he has keys to my locker because he was the one who gave my pad lock... oh well to cut it short... i'll be leaving a tulip inside his locker with a card of course... well not all girls give floewers to thier man... but i find that really sweet... i do hope he likes it ^_^

Whaaa!!!!! It almost October 8 and i have nothing inspiring to give him on our monsery... my insomia is getting worst not to mention i still havent thought of something to give him... any sugestion guys?? 2nd monsery?? please!!!!

i just want to point out that having a love life do chabge everything...now check this is out...

BEING BROKE IS NOT SO BAD AFTER ALL...

yay!!! that is so not me!!! hahaha ... just amusing myself i guess....ang tring to immune with my new me... well not so new really but more of see the me in the new light... wait!!! that is actually the same... nahhh!!! dont mnd me i am just a sentimental fool who is really sleepy and can't get any sleep because of insomnia attact well not to mention the occasional sleep apnea i'm having right now... hahaha!!! am i dying?? nahhh i guess not... just returning the pesimistic old me that other people dont see.. oh well.. i i guess this is just me being broke and nothing to do..... hahaha dont worry i am still happy... at blis actually... just moping because i dont have any money left!!!

i just watched the cd he gave me for our monthsery and i was so touched... even felt more blessed that i have this guy!!!